New Life

Wow, it's been so long since I last wrote. A friend recently read my blog for the first time and told me that i have "heart" and a "meaningful perspective". I guess these words reminded me why I wrote in the first place and gave me motivation to write again. She's sweet so I'm thankful for that.

A lot has happened since I last wrote. I moved to San Jose and am working now. My job is pretty good. I work for a software company called ZL Technologies. Actually, i stated earlier, my dream since middle school was to come to silicon valley and work in High Tech. Often times i felt in college that I made the wrong choice, and went to the wrong school. Wharton is very finance oriented, and basically everybody I know went down that track. I even had a huge 85k plus bonus offer from a private equity company. I decided to turn that offer down to follow my dream and come to silicon valley! I only get 50k now............. but I feel i really have a shot at doing what I've always dreamed of.

When I first told my dad about this "dream job" of mine, his reaction was "good, just take this job and get some experience, you can get your real job in finance later". I was really mad I guess, he will never understand my dream or my passion. My entire upbringing was like this, never any good words or encouragement. I've never liked my parents. I always think they're lousy parents, and I think i really hate them sometimes. I didn't even invite them to my graduation. I didn't want them there at all. I'm just kinda a bad kid. That's the rebel without a cause in me.

On the night after my first day of work, my dad suffered a seizure. I'd never seen this before, i think I showed no emotion, but actually I was really scared and confused. It all happened so fast, but I could see his future flashing in my mind. I genuinely believed he was going to die, he's old and unhealthy, and I felt bad for him, not so much for me. Coming off how I acted, I think God wanted me to take this opportunity to be more appreciative of my parents. The sight and sound of my dad's seizure kept flashing in my head the following week, and i just felt so bad. I kept thinking about all he had done for me. He drove up to San Jose with me. He flew out to my graduation to see me walk even though i told him not to come. The exact moment he had the seizure, he was fixing the router for me so I could have internet access. All of this made me feel confused, on one hand I think i genuinely hate everything about him, but on the other hand I feel extremely guilty.

Strange, this is probably my most personal blog so far.

Oh BTW! Eric Schmidt, CEO of google, was the graduation speaker for us! It was really awesome. One day, i'm gonna give the graduation speech.